Allergies, Sensitive Skin, Eczema. UGH!

So J has really sensitive skin. We've known this since he was very little. At 9 weeks we had to take him to the clinic (despite our fear and hate of everything germy!) because the lymph nodes in his neck swelled up, his face was that inflamed. Some hydrocortisone cream later, he was a lot better. We learned we can only use one brand of lotion on him - California Baby. The Calendula cream works wonders on his face. It doesn't clear it up once its inflamed, but it prevents it and keeps him moisturized.
He's been teething for what feels like forever. Now his cheeks are dry and chapped. We started solids a few weeks ago, a bit early, because he grabbed a burrito off DH's plate. He's been doing great with it. We're taking a baby-led weaning approach. He gets what we eat, for the most part. We've stuck with fruits and veggies for now. He picks up large pieces and puts it to his mouth. We decided to try some rice cereal, because he hasn't been sleeping well, and I thought maybe he wasn't "full" enough. We tried it on the same night we gave him some asparagus cooked in onion and pepper. He's had both pepper and asparagus before. He broke out in a rash. We checked his tongue for swelling. He was acting normal, so we bathed him really well and I kept him up past bedtime and when it was all gone, he went to bed like it never happened. We assumed it was the onion and pepper on his already dry skin. The next night we tried just rice cereal. Rash, even worse than before, and appeared within minutes, and its itchy. It's hives, we think. So again, check him over, he's normal, bath him well, then put him to bed. Ok, so no rice cereal, easy to solve right? Nope. He's had mum mums before without issue. They are rice. Ok, so the cereal has skim milk powder and whey in it. Hmm, maybe its a milk allergy. But mum mums have some milk. Ok, could be the amount. So we stop rice cereal, and cut down on mum mums. Still dry and chapped, but no itch and hives. Yesterday morning. After nap (so 2 feeds after waking, he gets a quick feed before naps), really bad itch and VERY inflamed. Ok, great. called Dh, asked him to bring lanolin home on his lunch hour to try. We get it cleared up with lanolin and the calendula cream. Put lanolin on before bed, no problem. Give him a dream feed around 10. No problems. Wakes around 1230, DH goes in and his face is all inflamed and itchy! Lanolin? Maybe. I also eat cereal for breakfast every day and have a second bowl before bed. Could be the milk. Dh says its possible that giving him the milk caused the allergy to "peak" so to say, and now he's reacting to the same proteins in my breast milk when I have milk. Today was a test. I had my cereal, but we didn't use the lanolin. He's still napping, so I will check when he wakes up. Oh dear is this ever frustrating! And poor J.